I have recently started (and finished) watching ‘Naked Attraction’. I know what you’re thinking and no I’m not a creep. There’s something very reassuring about seeing real people, vulnerable, in all their glory. I know people tell you that everyone’s different and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s nice to see proof of that.
From a very young age I’ve had a lot of body confidence issues. I was a tall shy girl who looked like they’d never seen sunlight. I got picked on quite a bit because of this so naturally I became more self-conscious and shy. The one thing that didn’t bother me was my skin, although I was super pale, I didn’t have any serious problems with acne until I left school.
While being at school I was a healthy weight and size, and then after prom (where I fitted into my beautiful size 10 dress), I ate and ate and ate. That summer I got my first job serving ice cream. That mixed with the start of college and the stress of my sister being really ill I ate some more. I didn’t exactly get massive, but going from a size 10 to a size 14 in matter of a year is a big deal when you’re 17.
Between my weight, my height, how pale I was, my nose and my hands, etc, etc, it’s safe to say growing up I didn’t like a lot about myself. After finishing uni and drinking and stress eating I lost a bit of weight, I wasn’t hanging around with people who made me feel bad about myself and somehow I stopped caring as much about what people thought of me. There is still one part of my body I am still extremely self-conscious about. My legs.
(Keeping it PG)
When I got to fifteen and started my GCSEs I gave up dancing. I’d been doing it for over twelve years and this was the reason multiple people told me that I had large legs, it’s muscle apparently. I’m not buying it personally, all of my family on both sides have either large legs or ankle problems, so naturally so do I. That added with the fact that I bruise really easily and I’m the clumsiest person in the world, is enough of a reason to boil myself in tights and jeans (not at the same time) in the summer, and make PE my least favourite lesson when I was at school.
However after watching ‘Naked Attraction’ and seeing all different shapes and sizes people are, with all of their insecurities, and other bits, put out there for the world to see, has made me wonder. If I got my legs out on a hot day, would anyone actually care, or would they just be stuck inside their own head with their own worries, much like I am when I walk down the street. And if anyone does judge me for how I look, surely it says more about them than it does me?
When I am having a dodgy day I try to concentrate on the things I like about my appearance.
My eyes are something I’ve always liked about myself, something I can’t and wouldn’t want to change. Try not to look to close at the bags under my eyes, sleep is one of those things that evades me at the moment. I quite like my eye brows and hair too, but only when they behave themselves, otherwise it’s a big sunglasses and messy bun kind of day. You know what I’m talking about.
Remember, in the words of the great James Blunt: “You’re beautiful, it’s true.”