It’s safe to say the last two years have been something of a fever dream. When Covid first hit I was 25 and excited after two weeks in Italy, ready to go on another holiday abroad and see more of the world. But that didn’t happen. Instead my life stopped, much like the rest of the world, and what was a relatively normal beginning of the year (except for Brexit, but we don’t talk about her) turned into an almighty shit show a little bit to reminiscent of a zombie apocalypse blockbuster.
Myself, like many many others, spent a glorious summer with nothing to do but eat, sleep, drink and play animal crossing. Don’t get me wrong, it started off strong. I did some painting, started an Etsy shop selling face masks, did the Facebook pub quiz every week, went on long walks with my dog, and told myself I had a free pass to do absolutely nothing with my life and that was ok because no one else was doing anything either.
To be fair I did work on some personal issues and now I don’t cry when literally anyone talks to me, so I’m taking that as a small victory.
But anyway, I stopped caring about what people thought about me and with that I stopped caring about a lot of other things as well. My health, my personal hygiene, keeping in touch with friends and family, genuine passions I’ve had my whole life and any sort of plan I had for the future. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this.
The one thing that kicked me onto action was the realisation that in four months I will be turning 28. And that scares me more than any bloody virus. I am quickly approaching my late twenties and I’m living the life of an 18 year old antisocial virgin, who sits in their room of their parents house, playing video games, watching YouTube and complaining about how boring life is. Thankfully only 5/7 of those things are true, so it could be worse.
In order to stop looking so fucking pathetic and feeling sorry for myself I have made a list of 5 main goals to work on over 2022, and I’m calling them goals because resolutions don’t work and make me feel a little bit sick.
Get fit
Now I mean this in both senses of the word. I want to get healthy. I currently weigh 104kg which is enormous and gives me a BMI of 33, so that’s fun. I am not going down the exercise gym route, mainly because I’m lazy as fuck. Eating less however seems slightly less difficult.
Right now I am eating about 3000 calories a day, which is gross. I’m going to try and eat about 1800 per day, which in itself is going to be a challenge. By the end of the year I want to be 78 kg which is a healthy BMI for my height. That means I have to loose 0.5kg per week which is doable. And that brings me onto the other meaning of getting fit.
Most people have their glow up at around 17 and continue to look amazing throughout their 20s. However I feel I had the opposite. I feel like I hit my most attractive at 16 and from there forward have slowly been declining. If at 16 I was a 9.5, I am now a 5 and I would quite like to get back to at least at least an 8.
I want to take better care of myself. We’re talking a proper skin care routine to get rid of that acne I started getting at 18. Some sort of personal grooming, starting with legs and arm pits and we’ll worry able other things down the line. Keeping up with brow tinting and nail care. Some decent hair care and by that I mean at least brushing it in the mornings, washing it more than once a week and for gods sake no fucking midnight hair cuts. Leave it alone Amy, you are not good at cutting your own hair, you always regret it, go to a god damn hairdresser you lazy, stingy bitch.
Take your next steps towards your future
I’m talking boring adult stuff.
Firstly actually pass my driving test this year. After what must be over 50 lessons it’s time for me to put in some effort. I have my own car; there really isn’t any excuses.
Secondly move out into my own flat. I’ve lived with my dad for 3 years now and it’s time to move on. Looking for somewhere isn’t easy; with my budget, the fact I have a dog and would like to stay local to the town centre, it has become a bit of an issue. But I’m hopeful, and extremely stubborn.
There are a few other things I would like to take steps towards but those mean facing my intimacy problems face on and I’m just not ready to go into that right now. Baby steps honey, baby steps.
Have something resembling a social life
I have realised recently that I have no friends, at least none that I see regularly enough. This fact was forced upon me, on new years eve when me and my sister couldn’t find anyone to celebrate with. We did ended up bumping into our old friend’s little sisters. It turned out being a really good night but it would be nice to spend time with people I don’t eternally see as 5 years old.
I want to start by having something to look forward to every month. Whether that’s meeting with my only friend who lives half way across the country, a girly weekend away with my sister, or going out for drinks with my work mates. I would like to travel more but we’ll have to see how Rona works out and whether Boris will allow it.
Stop putting everything on hold
Yes the world is still falling apart and mixing with tons of people still scares me a bit, but I want to stop using it as an excuse for sitting in bed and doing fuck all day after day. Where things are allowed, I want to do it.
I feel like the last 2 years of my life have been stolen from me, but really it’s been self inflicted, lockdown didn’t mean lie in bed, get fat, loose touch with all your friends and family and do absolutely nothing creative. No, I did that to myself. And it’s time to stop.
Rediscover your passions
There used to be so much I loved doing. Drawing, painting, photography, sewing, religiously watching films, caring about what I wear, I even dabbled in make up and making YouTube videos and now, I go work, spend time with my dog and occasionally do some crocheting.
Posting more regularly on Instagram seems like a good place to start, it will force me to do stuff, whether that be leave the house, do something creative or, well, do literally anything other than sit in bed. If I can do something everyday that I can be even a little bit proud of we good.
Don’t get Covid
I mean this is just a given.
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